Here I am, back in Hermosa for yet another preseason. This little apartment has been so good to me and I’m thankful I’ve been able to keep it for so many years. A live work space if you will, as I am not here full time. 2 blocks from the water and legendary 8th street courts, and 1 block from some of the best eats, shops and hang outs in Southern California. I love my little hood.
But this time feels different. There is a clock on it now. I am taking in all the details. The urgency is there however, the peace is stronger.
Only 6 months until the 2016 Summer Olympic Games in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Arguably the birthplace of our sport and one of the most popular there no question. Many eyes will be on this time and place. And for me… I am quiet. I am sure. The work has been done. No one sees me as a possibility to go, let alone the best option at gold. This is just a 20 year dream I gotta play out. The finish line is quickly approaching and in less than 200 days my life is going to dramatically change. I am on autopilot. This is the fun part and I don’t want to miss a moment. I don’t want to “should” all over myself now. Or pay a minute of this valuable time in the could woulds caught in worry and strife. This is lonely enough.
A brilliant and beautiful lonely that I’m not sure I’ll get back. So I sit here and design my next life over a glass of red wine because, lets be honest, real high level athletes balance the buzz with the be. Plus I’m 34, I’ve sacrificed enough to have my vino.
This is weird. Mental control is imperative. I packed my sword to cut through the clutter to see the doubts and fears for what they are, thoughts, not beliefs. Our camp is quiet, focused and determined. I couldn’t have asked for better humans in the fight with me. Life has a funny way of bringing you exactly what you need when you need it. Relationships can be mended, love can be restored, memories can fade. Just like a bone, it grows back stronger where it breaks.